


Feels like home

by keepcalm_and_love_muke



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ashton and Calum aren't even mentioned, Fluff, Happy Ending, Luke is a good friend, M/M, Sad Michael, only a little bit though, there is crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 20:34:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4680425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepcalm_and_love_muke/pseuds/keepcalm_and_love_muke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke learns, that you can't have a rainbow without a little storm.</p><p>Or the one where two boys are stupidly in love with each other but too blind to see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feels like home

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first fic (ahhh, what have I done??) and English isn't my first language- so I'm really sorry for any mistakes! I hope you enjoy it, though! I dedicate this fic to youu: [Leo](http://throwinrocksatmukeswindow.tumblr.com/) who always sees the truth...LOL, I guess, I'd rather stop! :D Thanks for beta reading and for sharing my love for the 4 Aussies with me! <3 
> 
> The title is from the song [Feels like home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-ouxPhYy7Y)

Luke is walking down the hall to Michael’s hotel room. He doesn’t know exactly what to do or what to say to his black haired band member, but the fact that Michael told everyone tonight that he went to see a therapist last week is driving Luke crazy. He knows Michael, he knows him better than himself, knows about his issues, knows about his insecurities and he knows about his habit to deal with this shit all by himself.  
There were days when Luke accepted Mike’s wish to be on his own without a single word, even though it hurt him that his best friend kept him out of this part of his life. Because you know, there was never and will never be a single day in Luke’s life, when Michael isn’t his number 1 priority. You may ask why? Well, for once Michael is his bandmate, and bandmates care about each other, right? But let’s be honest here: Michael is also his favourite person in the world! Michael is the closest to home Luke can find while on tour, which actually says a lot, doesn’t it? Whenever something good or bad happens - Luke always wants to share it with Michael first. He wants to tell him every stupid little thing on his mind because he knows Michael won’t make fun of him ... or he would but that’s just how Michael shows his affection towards him. He always wants to know where Michael is, which might sound a little bit creepy, but that is Luke, and Luke cares, Luke wants Michael to be fine and happy every second of the day. Luke wants to be the one that makes Michael happy, Luke wants to make him laugh, because Mike’s laugh is his favourite melody in the world. But most of all, Luke wants Michael to love him like he loves him, not just as a best friend, more like Jack and Rose loved each other, or Johnny and Baby, or Romeo and Juliet! Yes, sometimes Luke is a sucker for the great romances in history but in his head “Michael and Luke” sounds exactly like one of these big loved up couples no one will ever forget! Well ... with a better ending in certain cases, though.

It took Luke a while to admit to himself that he didn’t just love Michael as a friend but was in love with him. The butterflies in his stomach and the racing heartbeat whenever the other boy was around were hard to ignore though, so in the end it was just a matter of time until Luke had no other choice than to accept the fact that he fell in love with his former enemy and now best friend. A feeling, Luke is sure, won’t go away any time soon, probably never. 

But Luke is not going to tell Michael this, not now and not in a hundred years. He just wants to be there for him, like the best friend that he is and although Michael might not know it: he can need a friend right now. So that’s why Luke’s knocking at Michael’s door without a plan in his mind, but with a smile on his face and hope in his heart. Michael is going to be okay and Luke’s gonna make sure of that!

It takes Michael a while to open the door and when he does so, there’s a frown on his face - ‘his beautiful face,’ Luke thinks - which disappears as soon as he sees his blonde bandmate standing in front of him.  
“Hey Lukey! What are you doing here? I thought you went out partying with Cal?”  
“No, I didn’t. So can I come in … or would you rather be alone? But I think you ...”  
“Luke, shut up!!! Of course you can come in!” Michael states with a big smile on his face, turning around and leaving the door open for Luke to follow him inside.  
“What were you listening to?” Luke asks, while closing the door. He can tell by just one look through his bandmates room that Mike didn’t do anything since he got there but lying in bed, probably listening to music.  
“... because you know, you always listen to music when you’re ... not in a good mood?” Luke explains further after seeing Michael’s confused face.  
“You know me so well, Hemmings!” Mike tells him and within two seconds he is back in bed, face first into the pillow. 

“I was listening to She’s the tear in my heart and now come here and cuddle me because that’s what you’re here for, right?” Luke hears a muffled voice but understands clearly. And indeed, cuddling Mike is what he’s here for and so he wastes no time to join Mike in bed. Said boy has turned around by now, welcoming Luke with open arms. One moment later no one can tell where one boy begins and the other one ends. Luke has wrapped himself around his best friend, one arm around his waist, one leg between Michael’s, his head resting on his chest. He can feel Michael’s warm hand at the small of his back, while his other hand is playing with his hair. The blond boy is so happy and content with just lying here, listening to the steady heartbeat of his best friend. He wants to be here forever, because it’s the most peaceful place to find, it’s his save haven.  
“Are you okay, Mikey?” Luke whispers into the dark of the hotel room, afraid of starting an argument or making Michael angry but he needs to know that Mike is alright and save as well.  
“I’m fine Luke. I know, last week hasn’t been the best I’ve ever had but you don’t have to worry about me. I’m alright as long as you’re here with me....and the others of course!” Michael confesses, having no idea how happy these words make Luke. The blue eyed boy tries to stay calm, which is hard enough with Michael this close and being that honest.  
“I’ll always be there for you Mikey, if you just let me!”

“I know ... sometimes I need time on my own to think about ... stuff and get my mind off of some things, but you always make me feel better, Luke, even when you’re an annoying little shit,” Michael laughs softly. His hand finds its way under Luke’s shirt, drawing small circles on the skin there. Luke wants to frame this moment, wants to never leave Michael’s side again. Of course, this isn’t the first time they’re this close. There were actually times when they spent every single night like this, cuddled up together under the blankets but it still gets to Luke and he still wants so much more.  
“Which things are on your mind that you want to get rid off?” Luke wonders, nuzzling his face even closer into Michael’s neck. At first the black haired boy doesn’t answer and Luke already thinks he said something wrong, but after some long moments of silence, Luke finally gets his answer. An answer he wasn’t expecting at all. 

“Actually, there is just ... do you know that feeling, Luke? When you try and try to get this one specific thing ... or rather specific person out of your head but you just can’t? Because it’s not just in your head, it is in your heart as well because ... this person is just so important to you like literally the most important thing in your life? But it’s too much, just too much of everything. Like I want to tell everyone how I feel, I want to shout it from the rooftops in every city but I just can’t because I’m not even allowed to feel this? I shouldn’t think about this person like I do, I shouldn’t care about this person as much as i do, I shouldn’t build my whole world around this person because what if they’re gonna leave me someday? I feel like everyone’s gonna leave me someday! Luke, I just...I just shouldn’t love him like I do because he will never love me back anyway!” 

Michael’s voice isn’t more than a whisper but Luke can clearly understand him. His best friend is sad, his best friend just told him that he is in love with a boy, obviously really struggling with it and it’s breaking Luke’s heart. He hates seeing Michael like this, a sobbing mess right now; hates hearing him talking about how everyone’s going to leave him someday because that is so not true? What about him? Luke? He just said minutes ago, that he would never leave Michael! Does he not count? Is he not good enough? So Luke’s heart is not only breaking for Michael but for himself as well. The person he is in love with loves someone else. The person he wants to spend the rest of his life with is never going to return his feelings. But this isn’t important right now - the only important thing is the boy in his arms, crying his heart out. So Luke ignores the tears in his eyes, his aching heart and his wish to run away – preferably to the other side of the world - to be there for Michael like he always said he would be.  
“Michael ... Mikey, listen: I know this sucks, trust me, I really do, but you are not alone in this, okay? I’m here for you, I’m your best friend and as long as you want me there I will always be on your side, no matter what! Yes ... you might rather have someone else there ... I mean ... obviously, but if this guy is just too blind to see that you are the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing person he can come across, then he doesn’t deserve you at all. Have you even told him yet? Because I can’t think of a single reason why someone wouldn’t want to be with you! Everyone should be so damn happy to have Michael Clifford as their boyfriend,” Luke states with a shaking voice. 

Instead of calming his friend down, it gets even worse. Michael is shaking, obviously not able to control his sobbing.  
“Mike, it’s okay ... it’s okay. I’m here ... please, calm down,” Luke tries again, pulling his friend even closer. He hates the hopelessness, hates to see Michael in this state but above all that he hates that he isn’t the one who can make Michael feel better. Luke feels like a failure, he just wants to cry as well but he can’t do that to Michael or to himself.  
And while the minutes are passing by and Luke can do nothing but hold his best friend in his arms, Michael’s body stops shaking, his sobs becoming less and less frequent. Luke doesn’t know what time it is or for how long he’s been here with Michael but he wishes he could fall asleep to ease his pain, at least for a few hours. Leaving Michael isn’t an option so he closes his eyes, tries not to inhale Michael’s scent as he listens to Michael’s heartbeat finally calming down. Luke is already on the edge to falling asleep when he hears Michael talking again.  
“Luke? Do you ... do you really mean what you said before? You know, the thing about me ... being amazing and stuff ... and that everyone should be happy to have me as their boyfriend?”  
Luke feels so tired suddenly, so exhausted from the last hours and so so sad that he just whispers “Yes, I did!” into Michaels chest.  
“Oh ... okay, that’s good, I guess because ... I was talking about you, you know?”  
“Mmh, okay Mikey, it’s okay”, Luke manages to say, clearly too tired to get the idea of what’s going on.  
“LUKE, would you please not fall asleep while I’m CONFESSING MY LOVE FOR YOU?”  
And finally, finally Luke is more awake than ever. He can feel his heart beating way too fast in his chest, feels Michael’s hand like fire on his skin while the thoughts in his head are still a mess of “Michael”, “love” and “rejection”, and he isn’t able to make sense of all that. 

“What??? What did you just say?” Luke manages to get out, untangling himself from Michael to have a better look at him. He sits up, runs his hands through is hair, even pulling at it to make sure he isn’t dreaming. It’s almost complete dark in the hotel room but Luke finds Michael’s eyes, trying to hold his gaze while the dark haired boy starts talking again.  
“Luke,” Michael begins while taking the blond haired boy’s hand in his own, “what I’ve said before, about the person I can’t stop thinking about, the person I love although I shouldn’t ... I was talking about you. I love you ... I’ve been in love with you since what feels like forever? I think I even loved you back when we ... you know, hated each other or whatever. I just didn’t know how to deal with it or how to tell you and then the band thing started and I just couldn’t tell you anymore? The band was so much more important than my stupid feelings and I thought that if I just tried hard enough I’d get over you someday? But it didn’t work out the way I wanted it because you’re ... you are you and everything you do and say is just ... God, I don’t even know. It drives me crazy, YOU drive me crazy by just being your dorky little self, talking so much shit all day. But Luke, you are my best friend, I don’t even know where I would be without you! You make me so happy … I mean the band and being on stage in front of thousands of people makes me happy too but it’s nothing compared to what I feel when I’m with you. You made me fall in love with you, Hemmings, so how do we deal with that?”

The last sentence is so typical for Michael that Luke almost wants to laugh, but he is still trying to comprehend what’s going on.  
“This isn’t a dream, Michael, right? Please tell me that this isn’t just a dream?” Luke whispers, lying down next to his bandmate again without breaking eye contact.  
“Are you seriously quoting Amnesia right know? God Luke, I hate you!” Despite his words, Michael smiles brightly at Luke, bringing one hand to Luke’s face to gently caress his cheek. Luke leans into the touch, his lips only a few millimetres away from Michael’s.  
“I thought that you love me?” he whispers, trying to make a sad face, failing completely though.  
“Well, obviously I was out of my mind the last few years, so you shouldn’t ...”  
“Michael, I’m in love with you, too,” Luke interrupts him before he can say something stupid.  
“You are?” Michael’s voice is just a breath on Luke’s lips now. He wants to kiss him so bad, but there is still so much he has to say.  
“Yes, I am and I have been for a very long time. It was really hard to admit at first, even to myself because it felt kinda wrong although being with you always felt so right? Do you know what I mean?”  
Michael nods with a small smile on his lips, encouraging Luke to go on. 

“But lately, and with lately I mean the last months or even years, I just couldn’t run away from my thoughts or my feelings anymore. I don’t know if I’d ever found the courage to tell you, though? I was so scared of embarrassing myself and being rejected by you. But most of all I was afraid of losing you, Michael. I wouldn’t ... I couldn’t ... ”  
“Shhh Luke, it’s okay. No need to cry, love! I think I’ve got that covered for the both of us tonight.”  
Luke chuckles, moving his head closer to Michael, his lips barely brushing his.  
“Are you planning on kissing me any time soon or do I have to wait another year for that?”  
Luke doesn’t waste any more time, pressing his lips firmly against Michael’s. Luke has dreamed of this, almost every single day for the last two years. He imagined it to be perfect, to be breathtaking, to be the absolute perfect moment of all times. And let me tell you: kissing Michael feels exactly like that! His lips are soft, the stubble on his chin fits perfectly with his own, making Luke craving for more. He opens his mouth slightly, feels Michaels grin the moment he does so. Again, that is just so Michael and Luke feels overwhelmed by the love he has for this boy, his boy from now on.  
“Stop grinning,” he says instead of going all cheeky on Michael again. The older one just laughs, putting a hand on Luke’s neck to pull him closer again, going back to kissing him. This time, their tongues slide together, exploring each other’s mouths. Luke gasps quietly when Michael pushes his hand under his shirt again, stroking Luke’s back while deepening the kiss. 

“Michael ... Michael!” Luke breaks the kiss, earning a noise of compliance from Michael. “Sorry ... but can we just go to sleep now? I’m so tired and it feels like if we did ... more tonight I wouldn’t be able to ... you know, enjoy it that much?”  
“Oh Lukey, I bet I could make it really enjoyable for you!” Michael says with a smirk on his face. But Luke’s face is too serious to make fun of that.  
“Of course, Luke! I’m tired too and we have all the time in the world for those other things!” He turns Luke around, so that he is lying behind his younger bandmate, Luke’s back pressed against his chest. Luke puts Michael’s arm around himself and intertwines their fingers together.  
“Good night, Luke. I love you!” Michael murmurs, pressing a soft kiss onto Luke’s neck.  
“Love you, too. Sleep well!”  
Luke is half asleep but there is still one thing on his mind that needs to get out.  
“And Mike? I didn’t quote amnesia earlier because that’s actually “tell me this is just a dream” but I said “isn’t” ... so ...”  
“OH MY GOD, LUKE, WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP! I can’t believe I have to deal with such a dork from now on!”  
“You had to deal with me for the last ten years, Michael. But now you get to call me your boyfriend! Isn’t that great?”  
“Mmh,” Michael just hums, pulling Luke closer into his arms.  
“Good night, boyfriend, I love you. And I can’t wait to do all the things with you I was thinking about!”  
“Good night, Mikey! Yes, me neither ... love you!” Luke is finally able to sleep, with a smile on his face, his back pressed to the boy he loves the most. Never in his life has he been happier.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope it wasn't that bad. Feedback is always appreciated! :) Follow me on tumblr if you want to: [mytumblr](http://keepcalmbecause5sos-is-awesome.tumblr.com/)


End file.
